It’s so hard fluctuating between your situation and mine. I don’t know what’s more important. I’m helpless in both situations. I want to help us both but I’m not that strong. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t handle it like this
I’m not going to be the girl you marry.
I’ll be the memory you have when you propose to her. As you slide that ring on her finger you’ll think about that time we got dressed in our swankiest threads and had a horrible time at that party so we came back home and sat in an empty bath tub drinking whiskey outta the bottle talking about our childhood dreams.
I’m not going to be the girl you marry. I’ll be that memory whenever you and her get in an argument. you’ll recall our first fight and the endless glares and icy tones. Repetition of words like RESPECT and WHY rung through the stillness of the air. We almost ended that night. Thankfully you stopped me from walking out of that door.
I’m not going to be the girl you marry. I’ll be that memory when you have your first child. When you and your wife are picking out names you’ll remember our talk about our future. Our apartment layout and first pet. A dog named Pascal because I’m allergic to cats.
I’m not going to be the girl you marry. I’ll be the girl you fall for when you are too young to understand what falling really is. You’ll fuck up and lose me. You won’t realize it until a while later. But when you do, you’ll think about me everyday. Forever.
“You don’t know what it’s like being in love with you.
You know, when you and I were together, every single atom in my body told me that it was the right thing, that we were the perfect fit.
And that kind of love, it can change your whole life.”—Stefan Salvatore (via fuckreiva)
“I love you— I do— but I am afraid of making that love too important. Because you’re always going to leave me. We can’t deny it. You’re always going to leave.”—David Levithan, Every Day (via durianquotes)
“I loved you so much once. I did. More than anything in the whole wide world. Imagine that. What a laugh that is now. We were so intimate once upon a time I can’t believe it now. I think that’s the strangest thing of all now. The memory of being that intimate with somebody. We were so intimate I could puke. I can’t imagine ever being that intimate with somebody else. I haven’t been.”—Raymond Carver, Where I’m Calling From (via larmoyante)
“Sometimes, I feel like ripping apart my skin and searching for a reason for why I feel this empty. Maybe my veins are tangled, or something is lodged in my ribcage. Because it feels like something inside of me is missing or broken.”—(via hopelesslyhealing)
Whatever. Let’s just continue to suffer like this for the rest of our lives and fool ourselves into thinking we can be happy with someone else and not have that nagging fucking pain from needing each other this much in the back of our minds every fucking day.