January 16th 2013
Dear “you,” that’s what I’ve been referring to you in the poems I write at 3 in the morning. I still can’t say your name. I hope you know that I stopped breathing when you told me you didn’t love me anymore. I hope you know that your words could burn holes through my skin. You could make stars fall from the sky. You could kill me. You could end the world with the way you speak. I hope you come back soon. I’m starting to get lightheaded. I miss you I miss you. I’m so sorry.
February 3rd 2013
my letter must’ve gotten lost in the mail and that’s why you haven’t responded. That’s what I keep telling myself but I know it’s not true. I know you read it. I’ve seen it a million times in my head. You just got home from school and you’re sitting on your bed listening to The Strokes, ignoring the fact that they were my favorite band, and your mother comes upstairs and hands you my letter and you leave it on your bedside table, the one that you hide your cigarettes in, and you glance over at it a few times before you finally decide to read it. and your eyes skim over at it and your head starts to hurt a little, but not enough to make a difference, not enough to make you love me again. I wish you would write back. I’m tired of writing letters to a ghost.
April 19th 2013
You called me last night. Oh god. Your voice. I missed your voice. You were slurring your words when you asked how I’ve been and I tried to keep my hands from shaking. I swear to god when you told me you missed me I felt my heart slam into my ribs. I almost passed out. I think I’m going crazy. I still love you. Every part of me still loves you. Your name is always stuck in my throat and I keep your smile under my fingertips and I can’t forget you. I tried to swallow pills to get you out but I just got dizzy. I tried to wash my hands with vodka but it didn’t work.
September 4th 2013
I kissed a boy last night. He tasted like sugar and he grabbed my hips and I liked it a lot. I don’t miss you anymore.
September 5th 2013
I still miss you like crazy.
October 17th 2013
My mom told me to stop writing to you. She says I’ll never move on if I’ve always got you on the tip of my tongue and I’m spending too much on stamps. I don’t want to taste you anymore so this is my last letter.
October 17th 2013
November 9th 2013
I was over you until I held hands with the boy who lives down the street and tasted glass in my mouth. Jesus fuck you’re in my veins and bleeding out can’t fix me. I’ve tried.
January 16th 2014
I can say your name now.
”—letters to the boy who broke my heart (via extrasad)
Before you can grow up, you must fall in love 3 times.
Once you must fall in love with your best friend, ruining your friendship forever. This will teach you who your true friends are, and the fine line between friendship and more.
Once you must fall in love with someone you believe to be perfect. You will learn that no one is perfect, and that you should never be treated as any less than you deserve.
And once you must fall in love with someone that is exactly like you. This will teach you about who you are, and who you want to be.
And when you’re through with all that, you learn that the people who care about you the most are the ones that you hurt, and the ones that hurt you are the ones that you needed the most.
But most of all, you learn that love is only a concept and is not something that can be defined, it is different to each person that experiences it. And you will learn to respect each and every person on this earth, knowing that everyone only wants to be loved.
You need to let yourself talk to me. Sometimes I’m so tempted to pour my heart out to you in a message but I’m sick of you blocking me. I’m tired of trying. You need to reach out to me. I’m tired of feeling all your pain on top of mine from hiding it from me. I’m tired of not being able to do anything. I’m tired of feeling choked up because I’m that scared of losing you completely to this. Do yourself a favor and talk to me.
“I am done
With being your tragedy
Some terrible mistake
You keep making
I am my own and you do not own me
I owe you nothing
And I am done with feeling
Like I have ruined you
When you walked away first
And turned my world grey”—GarriNicole (via thehuskylionfish)
I know that I should let go but I really can’t everytime I convince myself to forget about you I always remember our happy moments we’ve spent together then I remember how much I love you, how often I think about you it makes me feel weak to know that I can’t if I have to be without you in my life I hate to realise that I can never let go of you and forget you either
“But the problem is I still miss you,
I still crave for you to hold me when I cry,
I still wish for you to hug me each day,
I still love everything about you,
I wish I could move on and be okay without you,
But I can’t be okay unless I’m okay with you.”—(via depressiontheunderdog)
“I don’t know how I went a month with out talking to you. I’m back in the same position as before but now everyday feels like a losing battle. I know I did it once but I don’t think I am strong enough to do it again.”—(via myplacetoventsafely)